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Here at Wild Secrets, we believe that every adult deserves pleasure – whether you’re having fun solo or with a partner. So I bought this as a soft small with gold color and the vac-u-lock hole. With the vac-u-lock, I can easily put it anywhere or I can slide a bullet in there to get a little vibration. I think it's great for beginners, but I'm thinking of going up to the medium size.

The Billy is made of silky silicone, and is 100% waterproof, so you can also use this baby in the shower. It feels amazing, whether you're playing with a partner or rocking it solo. Hartzell suggests a toy like this one, which focuses on deep stimulation without any penetration. This is because, as you age, you might notice changes in your vagina and a decreased sensitivity to penetrative stimulation you once responded to, she says. And at just $50, this oral sex simulator is more affordable than many suction vibes on the market. Whether or not they have partners, many people with vulvas can admit that there’s nothing like a little bit of oral stimulation a la cunnilingus.

Some vulva owners enjoy dual stimulation because it helps them get off more quickly. Others enjoy it because they enjoy the sensation of vaginal fullness, but can’t climax without a little clit action. Corrado recommends anything from the brand Rodeoh, as it’s usually more sturdy than other underwear-style harnesses on the market and home to a million different styles.

Sex toys are used by certain people with impairments or limited mobility to masturbate, have sex, or engage in sexual activities or postures that may be difficult or not feasible for them. And don’t limit yourself to only considering toys marketed as couples’ toys. As Engle says, "Any toy can be used as a couples toy," so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from.

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